Review – I am Legend

I am not really one of those people who worry about watching something right when it comes out. If I hear bad reviews of a movie, I might never bother to watch it. Every now and then, I miss something good because of this.

I think “I am Legend” is one of the movies that I missed. This movie is old enough that the spoilers in this almost shouldn’t be listed as spoilers.

In case you don’t remember, “I am Legend” is an apocalypse story starring Will Smith. A doctor has modified a virus in an effort to cure cancer and inadvertently turns mankind into a monster between a zombie and a vampire.

Smith plays the part of one of the survivors. A military medical researcher who is one of the 1% of the population that is immune to the mutated virus in its killing and its mutating forms.

I heard a lot of bad things about this movie, people on the net saying that it wasn’t good because Smith wasn’t able to pull off the parts of it where he is alone. However, I was happy with the performance. I think he did a fine job.

I was a little disappointed with the ending. I was expecting something besides his self sacrificing death but it worked. Nothing wrong with it, just not what I felt was coming. However, the ending wasn’t far enough out of left field to make it a surprise.

The only part of the film I took exception with was the suicide mission. After losing his canine companion, Smith’s character goes out and fights the mutated, using an SUV as his primary weapon. This portion disappointed me as I didn’t feel it was in character. I understand the hopeless factor that they were going for, the desperation that forces someone to give up, I just didn’t like it. That and the way the fight itself was written didn’t appeal to me. The location he chose being the primary problem.

All in all, a good movie. I enjoyed it and might even watch it again. If you haven’t seen “I am Legend”, and you enjoy zombie or apocalypse movies then I think you will enjoy this one. Not great, nothing genre defining, but enjoyable.

L. E. White

Movie Night

Shawn looked at the book or more specifically the picture of a man on all fours biting the throat of some woman. The black and white image was grainy and blurred, most likely due to the age of the book. It had been printed long enough ago that he doubted there were digital scanners in use.

For a little town with a serious racist streak and a bible thumping reputation, a full set of the “Encyclopedia of the Occult” in the school library seemed out of place. He wondered if the librarian was more open minded or if maybe the little old ladies in the PTA just didn’t know the books were there.

For a city kid who had been taken in by his aunt and uncle, this town was a drag. There wasn’t a place to skate without the cops escorting you home and nobody had any idea about the important things in life. Clothes, music and attitude were all at least twenty years behind what he liked to think of as the civilized world.

That, and if you weren’t a jock, your life in school was hell.

He had been bullied, punched and picked on since he got here. None of the girls realized how cool he was and he doubted they would figure it out in the next year and a half before he would turn eighteen and be able to leave.

So this is what Shawn’s life had turned into, sitting alone in the library at lunch to avoid the other boys. He felt pathetic as he brushed the long bangs of blonde hair behind his ear.

“I like that picture too.”

Shawn jumped, he hadn’t realized that the girl had walked up and now he looked like a puss. He looked up at here and tried not to frown. She was tiny, flat and skinny with short brown hair. He had no idea who she was but since she wasn’t pushing a cart around he guessed that she wasn’t a library assistant. That meant she was one of the losers who always hung out in the library at lunch.

She stepped closer and put her tiny, pale hands on the back of a chair. “Do you like the whole series or just that picture?”

Oh God, Shawn thought as he looked at her. Why couldn’t she be at least cute? “I ummmm just grabbed what was beside me.”

She wasn’t making eye contact. “Oh, I thought you might be interested in this kind of stuff. Nobody else ever looks at these.”

“Not really,” he said. Shawn tried to be too cool to talk to her but he had to admit that it was nice to at least have one person talk to him without being a douche. The problem was that if he started being nice, this might make things ever worse. “I like horror movies and stuff but this …. Yeah.”

“You like horror movies?”

Crap, he thought, I don’t want to start being seen with this much of a spaz. He just nodded, looking back down at the book.

“I do too,” she said, “My name is Nancy.”

Shawn just nodded and half smiled. “Shawn.”

She stood there for a couple of seconds of awkward silence before she whispered, “Bye,” and darted away.

***

Shawn risked going to the lunch room after meeting Nancy and was rewarded with a roll in the back of the head. Good God these red necks were a waste of space. He didn’t want to hang out in the library any more but it was better to put up with a nerdy girl than to deal with the D-bags from whatever team they were on. So today he was back at his table.

He was watching the stacks and saw Nancy dart between a couple of shelves. Shawn was sure she had seen him and he frowned as he thought of dealing with her. He was sure this school sucked more than any other he could have attended.

“Hi.”

He nodded to Nancy without looking up.

“Can we join you.”

Shawn looked up at the word “we” and found two girls standing to his left. Nancy was there, still looking like her mother had done a bad job making her clothes, with an arm full of books and a big case that he knew was for some musical instrument.

The other one wasn’t all that much different. As they sat down, the dishwater blonde with pasty makeup and no tits was introduced as Mary.

Mary was the prettiest, not that it was any compliment, and she started talking since she was obviously the alpha of the pair. “So Nancy told me she had met you here and that you were talking about horror movies?”

Shawn looked at her and nodded, she seemed worthless, but considering his prospects so far, maybe she wasn’t that bad.

“We like horror movies too,” She said. “In fact, we were planning on getting together and watching a bunch tonight.”

Shawn nodded once more. It was like a train wreck. He could see it coming and he didn’t think there was any way it was going to get better.

“You want to join us?”

“I don’t know.”

Mary grinned; it made Shawn think of those books that describe someone as predatory. “Thing is, just horror movies aren’t that much fun by themselves. You have to get out of your head to really enjoy them.”

Now Shawn looked up. Those words seemed like a different sort of invitation. He was wondering if maybe this chapter of the Geek Squad might have some good party favors.

Mary smiled, her face creasing with a massive set of dimples. Nancy looked a little flushed but she kept her eyes down. “Once we can really relax, then ‘Movie Night’ gets fun.”

Shawn looked at them. Neither had a clean complexion or any figure to speak of. Despite that, there wasn’t an eighteen year old boy in the world who wouldn’t think about a stoned threesome no matter what they looked like.

“When and where?”

Mary’s smile got bigger and Nancy blushed a little. Shawn tried not to think about it much as the girls gave him a time and an address.

“See you,” they both said as they stood up and left.

***

“Where the hell am I?” Shawn said as he looked at the map on his phone again.  He had been driving around the little pin on the map for fifteen minutes and he hadn’t found the house yet. This wasn’t really a subdivision, it was more of a sprawling collection of homes. They didn’t look uniform and they weren’t packed in to fit as many houses as possible into one small area. It was almost a small town of its own.

Shawn looked up after turning around in another cul-de-sac and saw a light where the front door had opened. The front porch light turned on and then Nancy stepped out and waved.

“Bout fucking time,” Shawn said as he pulled up in front of the house and killed the engine.

“We wondered if you were lost,” Nancy said. She was wearing short and a half shirt that would probably have kept his attention on another girl. On Nancy, she just looked like a little boy.

Shawn grunted and walked in past Nancy, stopping just inside the door to look around. “Whoa,” was the only word he managed. The house looked normal on the outside, but inside it was all wood, dark and polished so that it looked like it had been through a fire and then cleaned up. There were all sorts of stuffed animals lining the walls and three was even a full size polar bear standing at the end of the entry way.

“My father loves to hunt,” Nancy said as she shut the door and walked past Shawn. “Just wait until you see the family room.”

“So this is your house?”

She smiled over her shoulder and then led the way to the family room. “Yeah, my folks our out of town and Mary is staying with me.”

The family room was filled with animals. All kinds of birds were mounted on one wall as if they were flying away. Deer, Elk and Moose heads were on the other side of the room. The big thing though was that there were bears in every corner, each one a different type.

The couch faced a gigantic fireplace. Shawn expected to see a bear skin in front of it but when he looked there furry rug was narrow. Heads came out of either side and when he looked closer Shawn realized the rug was a collection of wolves. Each one was laid out beside the other to form a catwalk style carpet leading to the hearth.

“Wow.”

“You can say that again.” Nancy came down the stairs and joined them beside the rug. She must have just gotten out of the shower because she had a towel wrapped around her head.

“You stay here a lot?” Shawn asked as he looked around. When he turned to look at Mary he realized that she wasn’t wearing a bra. She had put a white t-shirt on while she was still wet so that it was clinging to her body. She wasn’t impressive, but Shawn still got caught staring.

“All the time,” Mary said with a smile. “We have been friends forever and we stay together all the time.” She twisted her foot and looked Shawn up and down before just staring a little below the logo on his t-shirt.

“So, um, where are we gonna watch the movie?” Shawn asked. Turning away and fighting the heat that he felt in his cheeks.

“The TV is in that cabinet,” Nancy said, pointing to a large wooden cabinet off to the side of the fireplace.

The girls grabbed drinks and popcorn while Shawn sat down on the couch. When they came back, they flopped down on either side of him and turned on the show. It was an old werewolf movie, but at least Shawn didn’t mind watching “The Howling” again.

Shawn was putting beers away pretty fast and the girls just kept giggling as the movie went along. The characters were in ‘Flow’ and the husband was getting it on with the werewolf lady when Shawn felt a hand on his leg. He looked down to see Mary touching his leg and then looked up into her smiling face.

“I love this part,” she said,  moving her hand up and down his thigh. “Don’t you?”

Shawn nodded, drunk enough not to care how pretty she wasn’t. He was about to shift toward her when he felt another touch on his other leg.

“I think this is my favorite part too.” Nancy said as she imitated Mary’s movements.

All Shawn could do was to smile and relax. He spread his arms out and put one around each of the girls. “I think this might be the best part of the whole thing.”

“Naw,” Mary said as she raised up off the couch and stepped over onto the wolf skin rug. “It gets better.”

Nancy stood up and extended her hands to help the boy up off of the couch. “Lots better.”

“Wow, you’re strong,” Shawn said as the tiny girl almost popped him off of the couch. “How did you help me up so easy?”

Nancy giggled as Mary grabbed Shawn’s other side and they ushered him to the center of the wolf skins. He sat down and then laid back so that he could see the movie. The couple on screen were getting busy and the girls were helping him out of his shirt. Just as the close up on the werewolf lady’s transformed eyes went across the screen Shawn’s world went black for a moment, covered by his shirt. Once it was off, two small hands pressed him back onto the fur.

“This is actually the best part,” Mary said. On screen, the werewolf bit into the drunken man, tearing into his shoulder with long, white teeth.

Shawn felt hot breath on his shoulder and his stomach as the girls leaned over him. Maybe this will be worth it, he thought.

He gasped in a breath as his shoulder exploded into pain. His beer driven haze was blown away as he fought against the tiny girl that was biting his shoulder. Shawn grabbed her hair to try and pull her away, ripping out a small chunk for his efforts. Nancy jerked out his grip and turned away. Shawn put his hand on his shoulder and felt a warm, wetness cover his palm. The boy started to raise his hand up to look at it when he felt something wet on his stomach.  The trailing sensation of being licked felt so out of place that he looked down to see Mary.

She pulled her head away after the lick and turned her face to Shawn. The girl’s eyes had turned bright amber and when she smiled he saw a mouth filled with sharp teeth. Her voice came out low and rasping, “This is the best part.”

 

Advertisement