Home > Fantasy, Flash Fiction > If the walls had ears would the doors have mouths

If the walls had ears would the doors have mouths

Thomas struck the heavy wooden door with the hilt of his dagger. His muffled curse was lost in the echoing boom of the strike. “Why won’t you open?”

“Because I am locked.”

The next sound that escaped Thomas’s mouth could have been described as any number of things. “A girly holler”, “An effeminate exclamation” or “A feminan utterance” would have all worked.

“You scream like a little bitch,” was the description that Joshua used. “You spend your time selling trinkets to any creature that will buy them and you wet yourself when a door talks to you?”

“Shut up. You are not the one standing in front of it.”

The door laughed, a deep booming that had it rattling in its frame. “You mortals are hilarious.”

The two men looked at each other and then back at the door. Joshua hefted his axe and Thomas picked up his torch.

“Maybe we can convince you to unlock and allow us past?” Thomas bounced the axe against his palm for emphasis.

“You may make one request,” The door replied, its voice didn’t seem impressed by Thomas’s threat but it was a magic door, what would or would not impress it was hard to determine.

“I wish you would grant us entrance into the dungeon.” Thomas said.

“I said that you could make one request, not a wish.”

Joshua smiled at the door as he slapped Thomas on the back of the head. He stepped forward and asked, “Will you unlock so that we may open you please?”

The door seemed to bow and shift. Joshua turned and smirked at Thomas, “It looks like it is smiling.”

Thomas shook his head, “Looks like an evil smile to me.”

The door didn’t respond to that. A moment later, the two explorers heard the click of the lock being opened.

“Doesn’t matter what it looked like,” Joshua said. “We can go in now.”


“I wonder how we get through this door,” Hamlin said as he examined the lock. “Someone tried to pick this once before but I don’t think it worked. These scratches are a sign of a novice fighting with that lock.”

“I will tell you what I told them,” the door responded. “You may make one request.”

The thief cocked his head as he looked at the door from where he had leaped to the side when it began to speak. “Fine,” Hamlin said. “I want you …”


The short man turned to look at the men standing behind him. The hardened group of warriors and thieves had spent years crawling through dungeons and raiding tombs under the guidance of the priest who had just interrupted him. Had any other man done that, Hamlin would have tossed a blade into his throat without pausing in his request. Draly, however, had saved his life often enough to earn a stay of execution.

“I think our request can be better used another way.”

Hamlin nodded, putting his tools away as he did so. The cleric stepped directly in front of the door.

“Make your request.” The door’s tone had changed, it was now brooding and menacing.

One of the fighters in the back elbowed his brother and whispered, “I don’t think it likes him.”

Draly ignored them and focused on the door. “I want you to tell me the story of what happened to the last group you granted a request.”

The door sighed, “They died forty feet down the hall when they were attacked by a shadow squid.”

The fighters tucked away their weapons and drew out torches. Draly turned to Hamlin, “See, the information was more valuable than simply granting us access to the hall.”

“So how do you plan to get past the door then?”

“Take it off of it hinges,” Draly said as he raised one arm to point at the side of the door. “They are on our side. We just need to hammer the pins out.”

The door whimpered as the men moved forward.

Categories: Fantasy, Flash Fiction
  1. May 1, 2013 at 7:19 AM

    HAHAHA! Awesome… ๐Ÿ˜€

    This really feels like a scene from a D&D game session to me. Of course, most players would be like the first group, but I’ve met a few who would be like the latter!

    • May 1, 2013 at 11:56 AM

      I used to play but this specific scenario never came up.

      I’m glad you liked it.

      • May 1, 2013 at 2:48 PM

        Yeah, it was a fun story!

        I’ve seen a few talking doors in my D&D days, but none quite like this. But, next time I run a game… Who knows? LOL!

  2. May 1, 2013 at 8:22 AM

    Nicely done. That was a fun treat!

    • May 1, 2013 at 11:58 AM

      Thanks, I am glad you liked it.

      I am wanting to move out of the urban fantasy I usually write in an attempt to broaden my range. Meaning that I will be writing more traditional fantasy and Science fiction on here.

  3. May 3, 2013 at 8:32 AM

    Awesome! The title alone had me, but a smart observant cleric t gets me every time. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • May 3, 2013 at 9:24 AM

      I am glad to hear you liked it. Thanks.

      So, next week will be a combination of horror and traditional fantasy. Now the question will be how I can manage to have a smart character.

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